Yesterday afternoon, at around 4 pm, my wife said: Let’s get ready!
Me: Ready? Oh…, yeah. Ready!
So I tuck the kids in the car, start the engine. Wait! You better don’t forget the laboring wife or you are in big trouble. An hour and some fairly drunk drivers (hitting the ditch every few yards should count as drunk, right?) we are arriving at the birth center.
Get the kids situated in front of the TV and wife into bed.
Slowly but surely the heat—make that contractions—pick up.
10 pm: The big one is finally asleep, only two more to go.
11 pm: The little one sleeps, only our lovely daughter is still busy keeping me between checking her and my beautiful wife. Aren’t pregnant women the most beautiful women?
1 am: Finally! My daughter has enough and falls asleep. My wife takes a deep breath and starts the real deal.
We—I really mean her—progress nicely and smoothly. Until 2:37 am.
Someone stepped on the brakes. Everything comes to crawling, yet not squeaking halt. No more contractions: 2 an hour really doesn’t count! And no more progress with the cervix.
I really wasn’t aware, that babies have some secret button they can push—to stop labor!
Anyway, the midwives tried their best but with no progress made by 12 pm we were sent back home. And I get ready to take a—so baby let me—long night sleep.
Tags: babies beautiful women big trouble birth center brakes cervix contractions deep breath ditch drunk drivers lovely daughter midwives oh what a night pregnant women real deal secret button sleep yesterday afternoon